News & Muse

JobSmith Recruitment

News & Muse - Some serious, some light-hearted subjects on employment related issues.

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Apparently, when asked to choose the biggest body language turn-offs in job interviews, employers went for:

1) Failure to make eye contact - 83%
2) Weak handshake - 54%
3) Failure to smile - 48%
4) Crossing your arms over your chest - 41%
5) Playing with something on the table - 40%
6) Playing with your hair or touching your face - 36%
7) Fidgeting too much in your seat - 34%
8) Bad posture - 32%
9) Using too many hand gestures - 13%
10) Handshake that is too strong - 6%

Job Applicants can say the darndest things

Sometimes people let themselves down when they are doing their best to impress.
The following items, culled from CV’s around the world, are examples of how not to impress prospective employers.

Reasons for leaving
· Responsibility makes me nervous
· They insisted that all employees get to work by 8.45 every morning. Couldn’t work under those conditions.
· Was met with a string of broken promises and lies as well as cockroaches.
· I was working for my mum till she decided to move.
· The company made me a scapegoat – just like my three previous employers.

Why proof reading is a good idea
· Education: College, August 1880- May 1984
· Work Experience: Dealing with customers conflicts that arouse
· Develop and recommend an annual operating expense fudget
· I’m a rabid typist

Past Achievements
· Disposed of £2.5 million in assets.
· My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable.
· Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting.
· Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet.
· I have an excellent track record, though I am not a horse.
· Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business.
· Proven ability to track down and correct erors.
· I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely nothing and absolutely no one.

References
· None, I’ve left a path of destruction behind me.
· Don’t take the comments of my former employer too seriously – they were unappreciative beggars and slave drivers.
· I am loyal to my employer at all costs.
· Please feel free to respond to my CV on my office voice-mail.

Qualifications
· No education or experience.
· Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department
· Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on my head,.

Specialist requests and job objectives
· Please call me after 5.30, because I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job.
· My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I have no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.
· I procrastinate – especially when the task is unpleasant.

Personal details
· Minor allergies to house cats ad Mongolian sheep.
· Donating blood. 14 gallons so far.

Facing Change?

Be inspired ..........................

.........to create your own personal mission. A good mission statement can help you revitalize your life during hard times.

If you develop a mission statement based on your true calling, you will feel fired up and strengthened every time you face adversities.

The mission will increase your confidence level, since you know that your moving in the right direction.

For Jobs in Wellington, contact us at JOBsmith Recruitment
Submit your cv to | anne.smith@jobsmith.co.nz | wellington@jobsmith.co.nz | cv@jobsmith.co.nz

Physical Address
38 Waring Taylor Street
Level 10, Petherick Towers
Wellington city
Postal Address
PO Box 38-353
Wellington Mail Centre
Phone
Tel +64 4 499 5119
Fax +64 499 5120
Email
anne.smith@jobsmith.co.nz